


Seashells and Wishes

by YvaJ



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvaJ/pseuds/YvaJ
Summary: Sometimes reality and dreams are vastly different, but they are also the same when it comes to issues of the heart.  Lucy learns that in a very profound way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> During a phase in my writing, I wrote many short stories about Tumnus and Lucy, two of my favorite characters from CS Lewis' work. Many of these stories seemed the same in scope, but they were still fun to write. Hope you enjoy this little story.

**Seashells and Wishes**

By: YvaJ

**Chapter 1: The Dream**

The rocks that lined the shoreline were painful to her feet. It was for that reason that nineteen-year-old Lucy Pevensie walked slowly along the water’s edge trying to miss them. It had become almost a game of sorts since the entire coast running along the west wall of Cair Paravel was filled with them.

“If you walk wrongly on them,” Mrs. Beaver had warned, “you could cut your feet pretty badly. So, it’d be best not to go without shoes.”

Upon ignoring that otherwise sage advice, Lucy discarded her shoes and walked, the moist sand creeping between her toes and feeling soft against the soles of her feet. Of course, every so often her step would hit one and she would cry out ‘ouch’ before she would hop about until the stinging had subsided.

Further on up on the beach, she glanced back and could see her shoes, a pair of small sandals sitting on the ground. From where she was, they looked like a patch of white amidst the dunes on the golden sand. Every so often they would leave her visual range and disappear between the large mounds of sand.

She spent many a day walking along the Narnian shoreline, her eyes scanning the distance half expecting to see a ship heading for the harbor or something that would open her to new adventure. When the anticipated ship did not appear, she concentrated on the sun’s light as it reflected over the smooth, tranquil sea.

“You left early, Your Majesty,” a voice suddenly emerged and startled, she turned around.

“Oh, Mr. Tumnus, it’s you,” Lucy offered, her contemplative expression melting away and a shy smile replaced it. She had not said as much, but her feelings for the faun had started to change and she had started to see in him in a way that she feared was inappropriate.

To Lucy, the kindly faun was not simply a dear and trusted friend; instead he had become a potential suitor. She smiled at him as he reached a hand out for hers and took it, his eyes brightening as she wound her fingers around his hand and held it. As she did, she looked into the eyes of her dearest friend in all of Narnia. “I suppose I really didn’t feel much like sitting about and trying to impress our guests,” she offered honestly.

By this time, Tumnus had found a patch of sand that had none of the stones on it and carefully sat down on the soft ground, the sand immediately finding its way amidst the fur that lined his legs. “Won’t you sit with me, Your Majesty?”

Lucy took a deep breath before she bunched up her skirts and seated herself on the ground. As she made herself comfortable, she spoke, her voice soft. “I’m so glad you’re here, Mr. Tumnus, I was feeling rather like the fifth wheel on the wagon back at the castle.”

“The what?” he asked.

“It’s just an expression, a wagon usually has four wheels on it, and the fifth is sort of the outcast in the group; the one that adds imbalance or doesn’t belong,” she shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a stupid analogy, but a rather factual one if you want to know the truth.”

“I was told of Prince Harley’s visit from Archenland, but I must admit that I did not feel at all impressed with his manner,” Tumnus said softly. “He speaks to the Narnian subjects as though we are servants or slaves instead of a free people.”

“Did he insult you?” she asked, her voice suddenly taking on a strength he had not heard in a very long time.

“Why, no,” he managed, but she could tell that he was not speaking the truth.

“Well, if he does, then I shall delight in scratching his eyes out with my royal fingernails.” As she spoke she extended her hand towards him, her fingers spread out as though she was a cat with elaborate claws. As she made a few awkward swipes in his direction, the faun found himself backing up and gasping.

“My dear Queen Lucy,” he admonished.

Upon hearing these words and seeing his shocked expression, she began to laugh uncontrollably. “You should see your face, Mr. Tumnus,” she managed between giggles.

“I’m surprised,” he looked at her feigning shock and her laughter only intensified.

When at last it subsided; Lucy looked at him, her expression serious. “Tell me truthfully Mr. Tumnus, did he insult you?”

“He did nothing except make a remark that I am a servant,” the faun said honestly. “I have done my very best since that moment to stay out of his way. Yet, I have heard him in the corridors calling others ‘fool’ or ‘cad’. He is not a very pleasant person, my Queen.”

“I know what you mean,” Lucy said softly. “The day I met him, he comes to me, kisses my hand and says ‘I shall hunt down the largest beast in all of Narnia for your table’. I looked at him with all sincerity and told him I was a vegetarian.”

“I beg your pardon?” Tumnus asked.

“I told him I didn’t eat meat,” Lucy said smiling. “He was not impressed, but his behavior made me feel as though I had a starring role in a really bad movie.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Nothing, it’s just another figure of speech,” she lowered her head. “It just wasn’t very much fun for me to have to impress him. Everyone built up his visit saying that he would come into Cair Paravel and sweep me off my feet. He didn’t though; he’s a crashing bore. Peter wants me to marry, but I am not sure if that’s really what I want. If I marry, it should be because I love someone, not because I am obligated.”

“I would surmise that love should be the only reason to marry,” he said, his face showing the trace of a smile. 

“Mr. Tumnus, have you ever been in love?” Lucy asked softly. “I mean really, deeply, romantically in love.”

The faun shrugged his shoulders. It was true, he had been in love, but to mention those feelings to Lucy seemed out of the question since it was she, whom he carried those emotions towards. After several moments of awkward silence, he took a deep breath and looked at her before he spoke. “I have been in love, yes, Your Majesty.”

“What happened? I mean; how did it end?” she asked as she dug her toes in the earth and felt the coolness of the mud caking her feet. Little did he know that she was trying to distract herself so that he would not know that the emotion his words evoked was jealousy.

“It ended because I never trusted myself enough to see if it could actually start,” he said shyly and looked away, his eyes scanning the sea. “I am rather a shy faun, Your Majesty.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” She abruptly asked, her green eyes once more looking at him. She was quickly growing weary of him always using that title.

“You are Queen of Narnia, and I am your loyal subject,” he said.

“No, you’re not a subject, you’re my very best friend,” she whispered. “Mr. Tumnus, I don’t want you to call me that anymore. I would rather you just call me ‘Lucy’ like you did when we first met.”

The faun looked into the eyes of the young queen, his eyes closing momentarily. “Then I must insist that you call me by my given name as well, Lucy,” he said as he took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“I do call you by your name, don’t I?” she said softly as she shyly pressed the folds out of her dress, her eyes on the skirts instead of on him.

“No, you always call me ‘Mister’ and I’m not quite that old yet,” he said softly as he reached over and took her hand gently in his.

“You never seemed to mind before,” she mused, her lips forming a small pout.

“No, you’re right, I didn’t,” he said softly but lowered his head. “Please, dearest Lucy, just call me by my name.”

“Tumnus,” she whispered, his name rolling off her lips and she smiled at the sound of it. “Tumnus, Tumnus, Tumnus…” She stood up and began to dance around still calling his name. “Are you happy now? I called you by your name.” She looked proudly at him as she spun around on the sand,. Seconds later, she stopped twirling about when she suddenly felt his arms around her.

“Yes,” he said smiling at her, his arms holding tightly to her. “I’m very happy.”

~~~~~

The two friends remained together until the sun began to sink in the distance out over the sea. Lucy had once more seated herself on the ground and was watching the ocean; her eyes wearily closing. She rested her head against Tumnus’ shoulder, the faun’s arm gently holding her. Had he let her go, she would have plopped back on the sand.

He carried a contemplative smile on his face, but his hand began to stroke her long, wavy, brown hair. He rested his head against the mass of her hair, as a contented sigh emerged from between his lips.

“I do suppose I must get my shoes and head back,” Lucy began to speak; the moment of silence dashed and Tumnus could feel the disappointment enveloping him. “Peter will probably be wondering where I have disappeared to,” she continued as she removed her head from the comfort of his hold and tried to get to her feet.

“Are you sure you must go?” he asked feeling the disappointment washing over him.

“I wish I didn’t have to. I feel much happier here with you, my dear Tumnus.”

“Then don’t leave just yet,” the faun whispered as he reached for her hand. When he captured it, he smiled as she stopped trying to get up and instead allowed her body to fall back onto the sand, her weight falling against him. “The stars shall be out very soon, have you thought of a wish yet?”

“You remembered the stories I told you about making a wish on the first star to come out at night?” she asked.

“Of course, I have made the same wish every night since,” he said as he reached over and brushed her hair gently aside so that he could look into her eyes.

She reached up and took his hand and held it in place, her eyes meeting his. “I have too,” she whispered, her hold on his tightening.

Tumnus looked at her as the sun descended beyond the sea. “You look beautiful in this light, Lucy,” he whispered.

“How much did you have to drink?” Lucy asked, her voice filled with teasing undertones.

“Not a drop, unless you count the three cups of tea with honey I had this afternoon at your sister’s tea party,” he smiled. “I had a sore throat from last night’s fireworks and the honey helped.”

Lucy licked her lips nervously as it got darker and darker outside and the first star peeked out. “There it is,” she whispered as she pointed to the small patch of sky.

“What did you wish for?” Tumnus asked.

“If I tell you then it won’t come true,” she whispered.

“Shall I tell you my wish?” he asked.

“It won’t come true if you tell me,” she said softly as she got up from where she was sitting and started to walk away. Not realizing where she was going, she walked over a group of seashells and her foot rammed into one, the object piercing the skin and she let out a sharp cry.

Sinking to the ground, she immediately grabbed her foot as the salty tears stung her eyes. “Tumnus can you please help me?” she began to weep as she tried to reach the offending object, but the thick wall of fabric from her dress prevented it.

The faun was at her side instantly and he crouched down on the ground. “What is it, dearest, are you in pain?” he spoke, his voice etched with concern.

“It’s my foot,” she whispered.

“I’m here,” he said as his attention now on her foot. “I can see what happened, there’s a piece of seashell lodged in your foot. I’m going to gently pull it away.” As he did, dizziness overwhelmed her and she fell back on the sand as she felt the object being pulled away.

“It must be bleeding pretty badly,” she managed as she bit down on her lip.

Tumnus nodded as he removed his scarf and began to wind it gently around her foot. “Try to relax; I will see if I can stop the bleeding, but where’s your cordial?” he asked referring to the gift from Father Christmas that she had received several days after her initial trip into Narnia.

“In my chamber,” she whispered brokenly. “Peter thought it best that I not always carry it with me everywhere, so I won’t lose it.”

“That’s foolish,” Tumnus mused, “but I think I understand.” Without saying another word, he gently began to wind one arm around her upper torso and the other around her knees. As he stood up, he looked down into her tearstained face. “You’re still a vision of loveliness, my queen.”

In response to this, Lucy buried her face against his chest and tried to forget about the injured foot that was wrapped so skillfully in the folds of his scarf.

~~~~~

The faun walked with the injured queen in his arms for some time. When he reached his cave, he gently kicked the door opened and carried her into the warm and inviting sitting room.

As he looked around for a place to deposit his precious cargo, he looked down at her. “Lucy, I mean nothing by this, but I fear I must bring you to my bedroom so that I can properly tend to your foot.”

“I trust you, Tumnus,” she whispered, her face still meshed against him and she closed her eyes.

He carried her over to the bed and gently laid her amidst the sheets. _How lovely she looked lying there,_ he thought as a tremor unconsciously cursed through him. Shaking his head, he quickly left the room and retrieved some bandages for her foot and returned several moments later.

Lucy lay with her face covered with perspiration, her hands clutching the sheets and her knuckles white. “Are you in a lot of pain?” He asked gently and she bravely shook her head. He could tell, however, that her response was an untruth. He seated himself next to her. “I wish I could take your pain away,” he whispered as he allowed his hand to brush across her cheek. He looked down into her deep eyes and could feel himself almost drowning in her gaze.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing,” he whispered. “Try not to worry,” he said softly as he inched away from her and began to unwind the scarf. As he finished he could see the ugly gash that covered her foot and he could feel her cringing from beneath his soft touch. “I must get some water to clean the wound, I’ll be right back.”

Lucy nodded and closed her eyes. Once she realized he was gone, she dug in the pocket of her dress, pulled out the cordial and opened it. Once she had swallowed a drop, she returned it to her pocket and laid back amidst the blankets that lined the faun’s neatly made bed. The injury on her foot had, by this time disappeared expect for the mass of blood that soaked through his scarf.

Within seconds he had returned to her side, the small tub of water in both hands with two white towels draped over his arm. He looked a strange cross between a butler and a lifeguard, but when she felt the bed beside her shift, she opened her eyes.

His attention, instead of being on her, remained focused on her feet. He began to dip the towel into the water and wring it out. Before applying it to her feet, he looked at her, his eyes filled with gentility as the words emerged. “The water is a little bit cold, I’m afraid,” he offered softly as he began to wipe the object over her foot. Once he finished, and without looking at the injury, he began to snugly wrap the second towel around her foot.

“You must think me a fool,” she began to speak, her words causing him to stop and look down at her.

“Why would I?” he asked as he completed the task and inched himself closer so that he could look into her eyes.

“Stepping on a stupid shell and hurting myself like this,” she whispered. “Mrs. Beaver warned me and I didn’t listen.”

“Well, accidents do happen,” he said with a light shrug.

“With me, it’s inevitable,” Lucy pouted and when he looked down at her, he could see a small curl twisting up her lips and he reached down and touched her lips.

“Come now, is that way for a valiant queen to speak?” he asked, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. “You should not feel so badly, sometimes I have been known to fall over my own hooves. I have often made a terrible disaster of things.”

“You always know the right things to say,” she whispered as she closed her eyes, but opened them once again to see him looking down at her. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“There’s no where in all of Narnia I would rather be than here with you,” he said smiling.

“Well, at least Prince Harley isn’t around,” she said smiling and raised her hand towards him. “Tumnus…”

“Yes, my dear?” he took her hand in his and began to stroke it gently.

“When we talked earlier, I asked you if you have ever been in love, do you remember?” she asked shyly as she felt the goose bumps covering her arms beneath his touch.

He nodded. “Yes, I remember.”

“How does one know if they’re really in love?” she asked.

“I don’t really know if I can explain it all that well,” he said.

“Try,” she pleaded. “I want to know if what I am feeling is love, or if I perhaps caught the Narnian flu.”

He reached over and pressed his wrist against her forehead. “No, I would say you don’t have the Narnian flu. The symptoms of that are generally sweating, nausea, and a rash that covers your skin.” He ran his hand gently down over her face, his fingertips caressing her face. “Thankfully, there are no symptoms of it with you,” he said as he tried to lower his hand but noticed that Lucy had placed her hand over his and was looking up at him.

“Tumnus,” she whispered all the while holding his against her face.

He smiled weakly, but started to pull his hand out of her grasp. “Lucy, what are you doing?” He whispered, his eyes meeting hers.

“I’m not doing anything,” she whispered, but when she saw his awkward expression, she released his hand and he sat back up. “I…Tumnus…”

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“I lied,” she whispered as she sat up on the bed and reached for the towel that wound around her foot. “I wanted to tell you that I didn’t leave the cordial. When you left I took a drop and my foot healed.” As soon as she had removed the towel, he could see that the skin was no longer injured and the skin was smooth.

“Why would you lie about that?” he asked gently.

She closed her eyes feeling sheepish but instead of speaking, she rolled over, her face now meshed against the pillows.

Tumnus sat for several moments looking down at her, his expression lined with confusion. Instead of speaking he leaned over her, rested his hands on her shoulders and gently turned her so that she was lying on her back and looking up at him.

He leaned down and rested his hands on either side of her face and looked down at her, his eyes shining and his smile entrancing. “Lucy,” he whispered her name, “open your eyes and let me look at you.”

Slowly, she did as he asked and looked up at him. “Tumnus, I’m…I’m sorry.”

“No, I think I understand,” he said gently. “I don’t think stepping on a seashell was your intention and I’m really quite glad you had the cordial with you.”

“You’ve always been so kind to me,” she whispered.

He smiled weakly and continued to stroke her face gently. “It’s because I’m your friend.”

“Just your friend?” she whispered licking her dry lips, the three words filling his ears and he leaned closer to her.

“No, much more than just my friend,” he whispered as his fingers inched closer to her lips. “You are far more than just a friend.” He leaned even closer and covered her mouth with his own.

Lucy closed her eyes and gave herself over to the kiss, her mouth opening to the gentle persuasion.

As the kiss ended, she spoke. “Tumnus, my Tumnus.”

He blushed. “Is that what you were trying to tell me back on the beach?”

“I was scared to say that I am in love with you,” she whispered with a timid nod.

He began to chuckle softly. “I was too. I never had the courage to say anything to you about my feelings. Strange is it not? We both have felt the very same, and yet neither spoke of what was in our hearts.”

“What are we going to do?” she whispered.

He smiled weakly as he looked down at her. She still lay atop the blankets, her hair strewn out about her, and her eyes staring longingly up at him. After several moments, all rational thought left the faun and he leaned down once more and captured her lips with his. This time the kiss was much harder than she expected but it aroused something beautiful in the young queen and her entire body suddenly came to life.

She wrapped her arms around him at that moment and allowed the kiss to intensify. Seconds later, she could feel his velvety tongue caressing hers and she moaned with excitement as her own began to move wildly.

Abruptly, he stopped and the kiss ended. “Lucy, we mustn’t do this.”

“Why not?” she asked, “I don’t want to be with that pompous Prince Harley, I want to be with you. To spend a few intimate moments with you was my wish.”

“That was your wish,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “to be with an animal?”

“No, to be with the one I love,” she whispered, but much to her dismay, she watched as he crawled off the bed. “I shouldn’t have told you, now the wish won’t come true.” As these words emerged, he turned back around and looked at her.

“Don’t be so sure of that,” he said, his mouth curled up slightly, a smile covering his lips. He crossed the room until he reached a small window and pulled the curtains closed. He returned to her side, his hands reaching out to hers.

The moment she felt his hands holding hers, she watched as he slid over to her, his body inching closer and closer. The closer he came, the more excited she became. “Are you really in love with me, Lucy Pevensie?” he asked.

“I’ve been in love with you for a very long time, Tumnus. I tried not to let it happen, but then it did and every time I saw you, I could feel the longing inside of me growing. I wanted to tell you so many times how I felt, but I was afraid that you would turn away from me. I figured that you would only look at me like I was that little girl I once was and not the woman I became.”

The faun looked over and could see that the young queen’s eyes were downcast. “I would never be able to kiss you if you were a child, Lucy.” He reached over and took her face with both of his hands and holding it still, he pressed his lips against hers.

At that moment, Lucy wound her arms around him and meshed her hands against the hair that ran down over his back. As she felt his tongue once more in her mouth, she inched her body even closer to his, her softness feeling the length of him for the first time.

“I love you, heart and soul,” she whispered between kisses.

“Lucy,” he moaned, his mouth still pressed against hers. “If we keep going this way, I will not be able to stop,” he whispered.

“I don’t want you to, Tumnus,” she whispered. “I love you so much...”

~~~~~

Seconds later, Lucy opened her eyes and groaned. “It was all a dream,” she whispered under her breath. Tumnus was gone, she was dressed in her nightgown, and lying in a four-poster bed in her chamber at Cair Paravel.

She crawled out of bed and went over to the window and stared out at the sea as the water lapped along the shoreline. “Okay, I’ll tell him today…” she whispered under her breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: The Reality**

“I’ll tell him today,” she had said the moment she had gotten out of bed the morning after having had another dream about Tumnus.

Of course, that was four days ago.

Lucy had seen neither hide nor hair of Tumnus in such a long while that it was becoming increasingly painful for her. When she had asked her brother, the High King Peter, where Tumnus had gone, he did not tell her, in fact, he seemed to be rather uncertain about why she was even looking for him in the first place.

Instead of telling him, she had left the castle grounds looking for some solace along the shoreline.

As she stared out across the vastness of the Eastern Ocean, her thoughts began to drift. _I wish I had the courage to tell him,_ she thought sadly. _Are my feelings only to be locked away in dreams instead of being real?_

She sat down on the ground. How empty the place felt without her best friend sitting beside her. He was so handsome; his blue eyes the same color as the rolling sea. As she listened to the waves as they crashed along the shoreline, she closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to carry her away.

“Lucy?” A voice suddenly emerged and she turned around. Susan, her older sister was walking towards her. “Peter said that you had been looking for Mr. Tumnus.”

“Yes, do you have any idea where he is?” Lucy asked.

“Oreius told me that he had been making plans to go back to Lantern Waste,” she said as she sat down on the soft ground next to her sister. “He said that Tumnus had left because Prince Harley was behaving rudely towards the other Narnian subjects. I was pretty shocked by his behavior. Seems rather cold and unfeeling, if you want my honest opinion of things.”

Lucy nodded, but at the same instant, she could feel her spirits plummeting. “Susan, are you sure he left for Lantern Waste?”

“I know that he was planning it, but that was two days ago,” Susan said. “I don’t know if he has left yet, but it would be a long journey nonetheless. Of course, the present weather may not permit extensive travel.”

“I figured as much,” Lucy said softly. “I should have gone to talk to him after I heard the rumors about Prince Harley and his behavior. Now, it will take at least a day for me to get there.”

“More like two. You do remember when we had traveled by foot to the Stone Table, that took several days, of course, now you could travel by horseback, and that would cut the time down a bit,” she said.

As her words filled the area, something inside of her could not help but notice the look that crossed her little sister’s face. It seemed strange to see it because it seemed so out of character. “Lucy, what’s the matter? Is it Tumnus?” She eventually asked, trying all the while to grace the subject gingerly.

Lucy lowered her head. “I had a dream about him the other night and wanted to talk to him is all. It’s probably nothing.”

Susan looked at her. “Nothing?” she asked skeptically. Susan could tell that it was more than ‘nothing’, in fact, since she had fallen in love before, she could read her sister like a book.

“Yes, Su, it’s nothing,” Lucy tried to gather her skirts together and started to stand up. What she did not expect was for her sister to reach out and take her hand, which forced her to sit back down on the ground.

“You’re in love with him,” she said matter-of-factly.

“What are you talking about?” Lucy demanded as she turned and looked at her sister.

“Don’t deny it, Lu,” Susan said softly. “I can see it as plain as I can see the ocean. You are in love with Mr. Tumnus.”

“No, I’m not,” Lucy lied, all the while afraid of giving herself away.

“Be honest, Lu, you’ve been avoiding the throne room for the last three weeks. You got angry with Peter two nights ago at the dinner table because he was trying to match you up with that arrogant Prince Harley. I saw what was happening, and I was with you in the room when he started talking down at Tumnus. You would have scratched his eyes out if not for Edmund intervening when he did.”

“What was I supposed to do?” she asked weakly. “He insulted my best friend.”

“Not only that, he insulted the one you love, only now Tumnus has left Cair Paravel humiliated,” Susan said. “I told Peter the day it happened that you would not court a man who insults those you care for. Peter didn’t believe me when I told him that you cared for Tumnus, but I think he believed me after I told him about Tumnus leaving. Prince Harley left yesterday and based on his behavior, I have my doubts if he will ever return.”

“Good riddance,” Lucy whispered.

Susan smiled. “You see; you do love Mr. Tumnus. But now, you have another choice to make, Lu. You can either go and find him and tell him the truth, or you can hide yourself away here. If you do that, then basically you will be consenting to letting Peter move you around as though you are a pawn in a chess game. You have to chose now or have someone else choose for you and I don’t you want to do that.”

Lucy closed her eyes as she sat back down on the ground. “I do love him, Susan, but what if he rejects me?”

Susan rested her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “I don’t think he will, Lu. He has always cared for you. Oftentimes it has been you who has been blind to the faun’s loving intentions.”

“I always thought that he only saw me as a friend, like we shared when I was little. Now, I’m a woman and he…” her voice trailed.

“…May still see you as a child,” Susan finished. “What if he doesn’t though? What if his feelings for you are precisely what is keeping him away from the castle or from all of us?”

Lucy looked at her sister. “About a week ago, I heard Prince Harley telling Tumnus that he was a loser and that a queen would never have feelings for a lowly faun. I know it must have hurt him, and I was too scared to stand up for him. I should have, but I didn’t say anything. I know that was wrong of me, but I couldn’t imagine ever sharing anything special with such an arrogant beast as that.”

“Then you need to go and tell Mr. Tumnus how you feel,” Susan said softly. “Lucy, all men, no matter where they come from or who they are, can experience humiliation and pain. You have always been very kind to him, but now you need to be honest with him about everything. That’s all I can think of to tell you. I know it’s not that much, but it’s all I can offer.”

Lucy nodded and after they were both standing, she embraced her sister. “I’m going to check his cave near here before I set off for Lantern Waste,” she said as she picked up a small seashell that was in the sand next to her feet.

Susan remained where she was and watched as her younger sister walked away.

~~~~~

Thirty minutes later, Lucy reached the temporary cave where her friend resided when he was not in Lantern Waste. She loved this cave, it was usually bright and cheerful, the light that played inside from outside would leave prisms of light across the rooms. It was a very special place for her, but somehow, she had never told Tumnus about how fond of the cave she was.

She fingered the seashell in her hand as the images of her dream filtered through her mind. _I should have told him the day after having this dream, she chastised herself. Now, I may be too late._ She peered sadly in through one of the windows and saw that no lights were on in the room. Her spirits literally sank to the floor, but she knocked on the door.

Seconds melted into minutes and she realized that he was not at home. She sat down in front of the door and closed her eyes. _Maybe my dreams are better than reality,_ she thought to herself as she found herself staring down at the shell that now rested in her hand.

After about ten minutes, she opened her eyes. Tumnus must have already left for Lantern Waste, she thought miserably. That means that she would have to journey there in order to find him. She slowly started to get to her feet, her eyes suddenly glancing towards the sky.

It had turned a murky gray color in what seemed like minutes. The clouds began to roll across the horizon and she could suddenly feel the first drops of rain starting to fall. “If it rains, I cannot leave,” she whispered to herself, all the while not hearing the steady footsteps that were approaching the front door of the cave.

“That’s why I’m still here,” a familiar voice spoke and she raised her head.

“Tumnus!” she whispered as the shell fell from her hand and landed on the ground. “I thought that you’d be gone.”

The faun shook his head. “No, I’m still here. But why are you here, Your Majesty?”

She lowered her head shamefully. “There’s nothing majestic about me, Mr. Tumnus, I failed to defend my best friend and I am deeply ashamed.”

“You have no reason to feel shame,” he said bravely as he ran his hand through his, now wet, locks of hair. “Let us go inside. The rain is getting heavier and it would be dreadful if you were to get sick.”

“It would serve me right,” she whispered, her lip curled up in a little girlish pout. She bit down on her lip, but allowed him to lead her into the cave.

As the door closed behind them, Tumnus removed his scarf and watched as she sat down on the chair that he always designated for a friend. The feelings of formality had ended and he no longer felt the necessity to offer her the chair.

After several minutes, he came over to where she was sitting. “I’ll have a fire going in no time,” he said. “That should warm us both up.”

Lucy nodded but kept her head down. The tears were so close to coming and yet something was preventing them. She figured that it was because she did not want her friend to feel sorry for her. She wanted him to see her as a grown up; an equal.

After several minutes, however, the feelings could no longer be contained. While he got the fire going, she could still feel the tears streaming down her face. A sniff emerged from her and he turned around to see the utter heartbreak on the face of the youngest Narnian queen.

“Oh my dear girl, why are you crying?” he asked as he came over and crouched down on his haunches in front of her. He reached for her hands and squeezed them tenderly. “Tell me. What ever is the matter?”

Lucy continued to cry. “I wish…” her voice trailed.

“What do you wish for? Would you like a cup of tea or perhaps some sardines? Maybe some cake?” He took a deep breath hoping that his cupboard could provide whatever his guest wanted.

“I wish that life was like a dream,” she whispered. “You must think me as a terrible fool.”

“No, I don’t think that of you at all,” he said. “How could I?”

Lucy took the sleeve of her dress and wiped it over her eyes. As soon as she had recovered, she could see the faun’s kind face staring down at her, his blue eyes filled with gentility. “I’m sorry for letting you down.”

The faun nodded, but no words emerged. He had been deeply wounded by the arrogant words that Prince Harley had hurled at him. At the present moment, he was even more upset that his queen did not defend his honor as he felt she should have.

This had proven to be one of the most painful events for him to contend with. It was one that made him feel both unworthy and beneath the young woman who now sat in tears before him. As he watched her pour out her grief, he reached over and began to brush her hair out of her face.

“All is forgiven, Lucy,” he whispered, and instead of remaining uncomfortably perched in front of her, he allowed his weight to slowly slide to the floor. With her hands still in his, he brought her to the floor with him and could feel her weight falling somewhat against him. The soft rug that was spread out before the fire provided them with an extra amount of warmth and Lucy felt the softness of it beneath her exposed skin.

_Perhaps she had been just as hurt and angry as I had been when all of this happened,_ he thought as he wound his arm around her and felt her head resting comfortably against his shoulder. “Now tell me what you meant about life being like a dream.”

Lucy took a deep breath. “I just meant that…” her voice trailed.

“You have nothing to fear, dear girl,” he said.

“I had a dream about you the other night, I wanted to tell you about it, but I was scared,” she whispered. “When Prince Harley said all those dreadful things to you, I had been thinking about that dream and what it meant to me.”

“It must have been a very powerful dream,” he said.

“It was,” Lucy said, her voice cracking. “In the dream, I did everything that I couldn’t do in reality. It was like I had no reason to be afraid. I could have defended you, and I could have told that dreadful Prince Harley where he could go. It all seemed so perfect. Then I woke up…”

“…And reality was much different,” Tumnus finished.

“You’re not kidding. I came downstairs and saw my brother trying to arrange a date for me with this Harley creep and my best friend was gone,” she sniffed. “I was so stupid, I should have tried to find you that day and tell you everything that had happened. The problem is, I was too scared to face you, to tell you how sorry I was, and what a coward I felt like.” She realized as these words tumbled out that she could not find the courage to look up at him. She kept her head lowered, her chin resting against his shoulder.

Instead of speaking, Tumnus reached over and took her chin in his hands. He smiled at her as he tipped it up so that he was looking into her eyes. Once she was looking into his eyes, he spoke. “You’re not a coward, Lucy. You were trying so hard to live up to everyone else’s expectations that you had forgotten what it felt like to live up to your own.”

“It’s not just that,” she whispered.

“It’s not?” he asked.

“No,” she paused and took a deep and staggering breath. “Tumnus, do you remember when Prince Harley said all those dreadful things about you not being worthy of a queen?”

“Yes, it is perhaps something that I will not soon forget,” he said. “To him I am a servant and beneath the love of another. It dishonored me gravely. Why must you ask me such a painful question, though?”

“I’m asking you if you remember because you are more worthy than anyone I could ever know,” she whispered as she once more lowered her head once again, her eyes now staring down at the rug. After several minutes, she raised it again and looked at him. “I was scared to say it then, because I was so shocked by what had happened. The truth is, I am in love with you and in the dream; I had the courage to tell you…”

As her voice faded, a strange emptiness filled the cave. The only sounds that they could both hear was the distraught queen’s uneven breathing and the crackling wood that rested in the fireplace.

He leaned over and cupped both sides of her face in his hands. Using his thumbs, he tried to wipe the remaining tears away, but this action failed. The tears continued to stream down over her face. As he stared into her half closed eyes, a small smile suddenly tugged at the corners of his mouth. At the same instant, he could feel the tears as they got caught in the corners of his own eyes. Managing to keep them at bay, he eventually spoke. “Lucy, open your eyes and let me see you.”

Slowly, she did as he asked, the heaviness of the moment overwhelming her. “Tumnus, I’m…I’m so sorry,” she began.

“There is no need for you to apologize,” he said soothingly.

“You’ve always been so kind and forgiving to me. All of this after my dreadful behavior,” she said. “You’re still sitting here and treating me like a queen.”

“That’s because you are a queen. You’re Queen Lucy the Valiant, that won’t ever change. Regardless of how many mistakes you make, you are still my queen and I hold you in the highest possible regard. You see, my dear lady, that is a part of any living existence, whether it is emanated by a Narnian or a daughter of Eve,” he said. As these words emerged, she was once again reminded of his unending wisdom. Before she could respond, he continued speaking. “Now, do try and dry your tears, my friend.”

“But, that’s just it. I don’t think I deserve your friendship anymore,” she whispered.

“Of course you do,” he said. As these words filled the quiet cave, she could feel the soft touch of his fingers as they stroked her cheeks, the skin smooth and damp. “I am always going to be your friend, Lucy.”

“Only my friend?” she whispered licking her dry lips.

As these words filled his ears, he leaned closer to her, his hands now coming to rest on her shoulders.

“No, you mean far more to me than just that of a friend,” he whispered as he brushed his fingertips against her lips. Seconds slowly ticked by and he leaned towards her and replaced them with a gentle kiss.

The moment she felt his lips caressing her own, Lucy allowed her eyes to close and surrender to his gentle persuasion. She returned the kiss willingly and soon felt his hands leaving her shoulders and winding their way around her lithe body.

As the kiss ended, she backed away from him and looked into his eyes. “This is so much like my dream,” she whispered more to herself than to him.

“This time, it’s not a dream,” he said, his eyes shining as he looked at her. “You are so brave to have told me what you felt. Yet, I think that it is only fair that I tell you that your feelings are not one sided, Lucy. I have felt the same way for many months. I must say that it is quite unique how we never spoke of what was truly in our hearts.”

Upon hearing these words, the young queen reached over and touched his face. Her fingers intertwined with his beard and she could tell that the coils of hair were finally dry. As they tickled her hand, she smiled nervously. “I know I haven’t really shown it lately, but I do love you.” She looked deeply into his eyes trying to search for some sort of indicator as to what the faun was thinking.

After a few awkward moments passed, she continued speaking. “You must believe me, Tumnus; it would break my heart if you doubted my sincerity.” She backed slowly away from him so that she could look deeply into his eyes. She wanted nothing more than to find out if he could understand the insecurity that still dwelled in her spirit.

“I don’t doubt your sincerity,” he spoke, his expression remaining unreadable.

Upon hearing these words, and for some reason, Lucy almost got to her feet and fled from the cave. What left her practically rooted to the floor was the conversation she had shared with Susan prior to coming. Her sister had said that she should be honest and that Lucy would have to admit what emotions were still running rampant in her heart. She also knew that her sister would get onto her if she had not been completely honest with him.

Swallowing her pride, she reached for his hand. When she held it, she continued speaking, her voice cracking. “The truth is; I’ve been in love with you for such a long time. I tried not to let it happen. It was probably because I had often heard what happens after good friends became romantically involved with one another. I don’t want our friendship to ever end and I was scared that my feelings would destroy it. I couldn’t deny the fact that every time I saw you, I could feel the longing inside me growing. There were so many times when I wanted to tell you this, but I was afraid that you would reject me. I didn’t want you to just see or embrace the little girl that I had once been. I wanted you to look at me and see the woman that I had become.”

She lowered her head and stared down at the damp, waist-less, dress that she wore. She took a deep breath, all the while no longer certain if she had even done the right thing. Right now, she felt rather pitiful. Her hair had been strewn about by the Narnian wind and her dress was dirty and covered with sand.

After several minutes, she raised her head and he could see her eyes. The green orbs were now staring at him with uncertainty, but shining through all of that, was intense desire.

Suddenly and without any sort of warning, he lost all rational thought and wrapped her in his arms. His hold on her was somewhat loose but still restricting. She raised her head and could see that his mouth was now several centimeters from her own.

Abruptly, he completely closed the gap between them and captured her lips in a kiss that mirrored her own sense of longing. There was a new and strange forcefulness in him that seemed almost out of character. At the same time, it was that, which made her instantly come alive. Instead of feeling insecure in the wake of all of this, she discovered that the yearning literally overpowered her. She wanted nothing more than to know that this was all real, and that she was no longer dreaming.

As her lips parted and the kiss intensified, she could suddenly feel the faun’s tongue winding around hers. She moaned softly, the thoughts that were going through her mind seemed to echo in her consciousness. _This is real, this is all real; it has to be,_ resonated in her mind.

When the kiss ended, she breathlessly looked up into a pair of loving blue eyes. “Tumnus, please tell me that this is really happening.”

Instead of immediately speaking he began to touch her face once again; his fingers taking in the smoothness of her cheeks, the texture of her mouth, and the somewhat tangled mass of her tresses. “It’s real, Lucy, it is all very real,” he affirmed.

As soon as these words had emerged, he slipped his hand beneath the fabric in the low neckline of the back of her dress. This action enabled him to pull her even closer. None of this mattered to her; his touch was like his kiss, stimulating and affectionate. She could feel his fingertips brushing along her upper back and leaving goose bumps in their wake.

She raised her head somewhat and looked at him, an ironic smile covering her face, her lips now swollen. “You would never have done this to a child.”

“That would have been repulsive and wrong, my dear lady,” he said with an adamant shake of his head. He pulled her even closer, his hand still guiding her along and once again bringing her to another intoxicating kiss.

As that kiss sent them hurling into oblivion, she tried to inch herself as close to him as she could. He could feel her coaxing him along, but after several minutes, he took the initiative and, helped ease her back onto the soft rug.

Just before she lay down, he removed his hand from her back and stretched out beside her. He remained in a half seated position, his upper torso propped up on one elbow. He looked down at her, his eyes shining and a smile covering his face.

“I love you, Tumnus, with all my heart and soul,” she eventually whispered. She watched as he allowed himself to completely lie back down and his mouth sought hers.

After about ten minutes of exchanging sweet kisses, he broke away and unexpectedly returned to a sitting position, his body now growing rigid. “Lucy,” he whispered as he tried to back away from her. “If we go on, I will not be able to stop myself.”

She sat up and embraced him, her head now resting against his shoulder. “Then don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t stop yourself, Tumnus…”

“…Are you sure?” he whispered, his voice cracking. It was obvious that his words indicated that he was ready to give in to the passion that was now encompassing them both. At the same time, he would never have considered giving in to his primal urges without her consent.

“I am absolutely sure,” she whispered. With a fluid motion, she managed to pull him back down onto the floor. Once they were lying there, he leaned over and kissed her full and hard on her waiting lips.

Just before the two of them allowed the moment to carry them completely away, he watched as she abruptly reached over and brutally pinched her other arm. She closed her eyes for several seconds as the pain from that action engulfed her. After several seconds, she opened her eyes.

As she focused on his puzzled facial expression, she almost laughed.

“Why did you do that?” he asked her, his eyes filled with surprise that she would inflict this sort of pain willingly upon herself. “You shall surely receive a terrible bruise from it.”

Instead of offering him an answer, she smiled coyly up at him. She moved so that her body would rest snugly against his. Exhaling, she spoke, her voice laced with desire. “This is better than any dream, Tumnus, and I want whatever will come of it...”

End...


End file.
